Grace: Do your kids just think it's what you say before that first bite?

There is much to be said about this word.

I have realized I'm an amateur at giving it. And although needy of it, I am also an amateur at resting in it. And finally, I am sure that I have become a student of it.

I started hearing the message about a year ago from friends around the way.

It started creeping into family conversations at Sunday dinners.

Having been raised in a good ol' once in grace always in grace culture, well, I just figured there wasn't much more I needed to know about it.

I was wrong.

I'm still learning, but obviously, still not in complete understanding.

But what I've found is that even those who know about it, preach it, and really seem to understand it, still find themselves living in such a manner that is ignorant of it from time to time. So, therefore, I am reminded He wants me to take time out of my day to submit to Him working on me some more...

Are you aware of grace? Really aware?

Would love for you to read this, and share your thoughts.

Things, besides my tan, I wish would fade...

This will be a slightly random post. As I desperately tried to sleep tonight, but failed to be able to pull it off mostly because of a 3 hr nap that I took earlier in the day, I decided to just give up, make myself useful for a few hours, and then try to close my eyes for a few hours before sun-up!

ah...with that being said, my tan is fading. Which I know seems trivial to some, but to me, it is more than just a sign that I'm going to age faster than you sun-block fans. I like my tan self better than my white self. Superficial? Call it what you will, I just know that I struggle with thoughts about my appearance way more in the spring, fall, and winter. There. I've confessed it. Moving on.

So, whats at the top of the list for things I'd like to fade?

The memories my children will have of me losing my patience, being too harsh, or selfishly practicing sarcasm at the expense of their feelings.

What I don't want to fade? Emma's quirkiness. I hope she keeps it forever.

Next on the list for things to fade?

My superficial thoughts of my appearance. Really, they just trip us up as women and feed our flesh vs allowing the Spirit to be our bread. I am asking God to fade these thoughts so that when I look at a picture of our family celebrating our son's baptism, I can focus on the love being displayed vs the size of my cheeks.

What I don't want to fade? My children's love for one another.

Ah...next...fading...hows about the old man? Yes, out with the old, in with the new. Three big cheers for God's ability to not just settle with fading! Ethan was baptized this summer. I am thanking God for His evident work in my son's life. I pray the feeling of guilt, for failing this guy from the beginning, will fade sooner than later.

What should never fade, is Ethan's commitment to follow Christ. Oh God, please keep my son close, let his desire for you grow stronger than his desire for the world.

Let's wrap things up, shall we? Fading takes time, right? Can't happen overnight? What do you think of when you say the word fading?

To have had a marriage that was miserable just over 2 years ago, to having such a blessed union today, I would say that a lot has faded for Greg and I. I have faded. The hard Jamie who was quick to cut down, quick to judge, and quick to choose bitterness over forgiveness has faded. The passion Greg had for things other than myself and his children has faded. Yet, they are both still there. Rearing their ugly heads every now and again, and by God's grace, being etched away with time.

What I pray doesn't fade? My desire to be his woman. I'm totally smitten with this man, and I pray that grows stronger and stronger.

Some of you may have things you wish would fade, too. Maybe you said something last week and have replayed it over and over wishing you hadn't.

Or maybe you are just so confident in who you are that you feel it is failure to admit there are things you want to fade.

Let me just say this, God has chosen me to become like His son, and in order to do that, there will be lots of fading. But only God can do that miracle, and I'm not helping if I can't admit there are bold colors in need of a good wash.

Here's to feeling good with pale skin this fall, and to spend more time seeking Him than anything else of this earth that will soon enough fade away.

on this whole quantity/quality thing...

I was reading here this afternoon and decided I really should share this story.

About 4 years ago, as a "gift" from my BeautiControl director, I was given a one hour session with a life coach. It was to help me "see the big picture", "grow my success", and to help me "find inner peace and balance."

So, in my old home at Sandbranch, the complete upstairs of an addition was this beautiful room that, at that time, served as my office. It had a large 4X8 picture window where my computer and desk were, so there I sat while I was on this lovely phone call that was to open my eyes.

As I listened to this gentleman from CA try to encourage me to find balance in life, I spun around in my chair, and outside of that beautiful window, I see my 3 year old Emma Rae running up the hill to her grandma and grandpas who lived behind us. I had put her down for a nap, and obviously, she had gotten up while I was distracted and was letting herself out to go for a visit.

As I watch her pawpaw receive her warmly, I hear this coach of living on the other end start to explain to me what my director's goal was for our call. "I have heard a lot about you Jamie. It seems you are quite a young lady. I hear you juggle being a wife, a mother of two, and have built a rather large business, even earning the coveted Mustang, with BeautiControl. Your director tells me you seem to be off track all of the sudden. You're feeling overwhelmed and are talking about letting it all go to home school your children and not be so distracted."

He continues, "I have a son, Jamie. His mother and I are the presidents of this coaching firm. We have worked so hard that we now can afford to have him educated in the best school there is in our area. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that it is a sacrifice for her and I to work so many hours, but the sacrifice is worth it. He is excelling in his schooling, and when we see him on the weekends, we make the best memories doing whatever he wants to do! Now Jamie, he is a happy kid."

"Um, I'm sorry Mr. S______, but what was that?", surely I haven't heard what I just think I heard...

"Well, our son stays on campus at this Middle School from Monday through Saturday mornings. It works best because of the time and effort put into his education, they don't need to have them distracted with home life. That way he can be focused on what is important through the week, his mother and I can be focused on what is important through the week, and then we can come together for quality time. That is what it is about Jamie, quality time. Not quantity. You do realize that statistics show that mothers who work spend as much, if not more, quality time with their children as those who supposedly stay at home, don't you?"

"Well, I have heard that quoted before, but well, we don't exactly, um, how should I say this..."

"Listen Jamie, I'm sure you have some people who may influence you that have good intentions, but from what I have heard from your director, to give up what you have worked so hard for is senseless. Why not keep sacrificing a measly 30 hours a week so that your children can go to the schools they want to go to, and you can afford to give them a start to life that otherwise you won't be able to? Your kids will grow up to appreciate this sacrifice for them. I guarantee it. So, tell me, how many parties do you have booked for next month? Will it be enough to get you over this negative way of thinking and get you back in the game?"

By this time PawPaw RayRay has returned the rebellious parolee back home, and with the door locked and her in my sight, I was focused on trying to end this call without insulting this poor, ignorant man.

"Mr. S_________, let me just say I do appreciate where you are coming from. It seems that your household is running just as you would have it to, but for us, well, we see a different calling on our life. Not that the money BeautiControl could make me wouldn't be helpful with some things, but to be honest, that sacrifice isn't worth it to us. I'd rather not have to make the decision between quality or quantity anymore. I'd rather just work at both for now."

The conversation ended with him assuring me I would regret this decision. And then was followed with months, and now it has been years, of controversy from many around me as I began to live out my "take" on how BeautiControl, or maybe other direct sales if that is the case, should be for those who want to work, not for those who are working at being full-time wives and mothers.

Gina was right, just being here counts for something. At a home school conference a few weeks ago, a lady made a wonderful analogy, which I plan on referencing a lot on some upcoming blogs, about our children being a blank, brand new, clean notebook. The conversations our children have, the places are children go, and all the things our children see and hear are written on that notebook with an ink pen.

I have thought about that a lot since then, and it came to mind again as I tried to reckon how much quality time we have had lately. This post is getting too long, as usual, so let me end with just saying this...my hope is that in 10 years, you could take the weight of the pages written from quality time of fishing, vacationing, playing cards, and doing cool crafts and when compared to the weight of the pages written from quantity time of singing Sara Groves in the car as we run errands, them reading quietly in their room while I blog, them helping to bring order to the house with specific chores, and them playing outside unattended while I mark things off my to-do list inside, you would find that although the quality time helped to form wonderful memories and reinforce them feeling loved, it was in the quantity times of daily life that their character was matured.

No one is counting how much quality vs quantity time we have with our kids. But I can assure you, it is leaving it's writings on those clean pages. How will the quantity of your child's notebook read in ten years? and more importantly, who will be able to take credit as contributing authors?

Just submit and let yourself rest...

On any given day you can find our Pugly trying to hide from the ever-present Emma Rae who wants to just cuddle him. He will hide behind the couch, run off to another room, or even try to dig his way under a blanket to escape her love.

Last week, as I set beside this chair sewing, I glanced over to find Emma holding tight to her Pugly. She was in a deep sleep, and he was too busy fighting the uncomfortable spot of being in her grasp to give into slumber.
Finally, he started to settle in and just as he closed his eyes, Greg pulled in from a day at work and it was all over. Pug took a flying leap over Emma and the peaceful rest was over.

Sometimes I feel like I'm Pugly, Emma is God, and life's unexpected turns is Greg pulling in. I dodge giving into the rest God wants to bless me with, and just as I begin to submit and enjoy, someone rubs me the wrong way, or I decide that "Mouth" should make an appearance in a conversation with "Gregaroni", and I take a flying leap out of God's embrace.

Here's to staying cozy when I'm tempted to leap out of God's arms.

self help vs spiritual growth

It is possible that I am allowing this subject to take up to much of my thinking these days.

Do we get determined to end a certain habit, or motivated to begin a new habit, and that in turn creates our behavior?

Or is Christ's work being performed in us the reason for all of our good days?

I am leaning towards thinking it could be both.

I have all too often decided it was time time to make a change only to end up feeling as though I've failed when I don't stick with it.

I have felt conviction over areas in my life that needed turned over to God and then almost miraculously found that I was able to conquer them with little of my own effort.

I have also read God's word and seen the truth in it that spread light on very dark areas of my flesh that I've still yet to crucify, and somehow I tried to turn off that light to keep them shadowed for a bit longer.

What I think I am learning is that grace is at work in my life. Whether I succeed or fail, in my eyes, for the day, grace is there. With lots of discussion on parenting these last few weeks, I am constantly reminded we can train up our children with true passion and conviction for God's truth, and it is still by His grace that they will walk in that truth. We can also be parents who lack drive, or even knowledge, as to how to parent, and the Lord could use our children for the building of His kingdom. How? Through works of grace.

During church tonight, our pastor was speaking on the prayer of Jabez. He was instructing us to pray for ourselves. To pray for God's blessings on our lives in such a way that we could be more for His glory. I was jotting down notes as I listened.

One line I wrote down was, it takes prayer.

Well, what takes prayer?

A relationship with our Father takes prayer.

Well, if something takes something, then someone must give something.

I jotted down this, it takes discipline.

Well, what takes discipline?

A daily prayer life to build a relationship with our Father.

As I've said, if it takes that, then something must be given. Are you with me?

We have heard, and probably advised, in conversation, "Oh, it takes drive, it takes will-power, it takes commitment, it takes submission".

So, then, WHO is giving these things?

Some of us are maybe giving some devotion time through the day. Some of us may not even be there yet. Some of us are giving our service to a local place of worship, and some of us may be struggling with feeling worthy of serving.

My point would be this, our spiritual growth takes time with God, in prayer, in service, in brokenness, in victory, in maturity, in immaturity, in praise, and in doubt. But if we are only giving when it is on our terms, and trying to do the rest on our own, we're focusing on self help that will ultimately fail us.

I believe that God's word will grow us, the Holy Spirit will lead us, and our Father can use us, but first we must choose to give Him the time to do so.

I pray that tomorrow, with it being a fresh new Monday, you and I will choose to spend time with Him. I guarantee we'll not be disappointed.

Slightly Bad Girls #4 questions 7,8

7. According to her tersely presented prosecution, Sarai wanted Abram to rectify the situation. Describe the "wrong" she was suffering (Genesis 16:5). Once again, Sarai did not turn to the Lord for help. What reason would you offer? This chapter of Sarai's life ended on a distressing note. Have you lost respect for her, or are you willing to give her another chance? Explain why.

8. What's the most important lesson you learned from Sarai, a princess bride who ran out of patience?

This time I will just give you gals a couple days and we'll move onto Chapter 2 to talk about Hagar.

Slightly Bad Girls #3 questions 5 & 6

5. In Genesis 15, God told Abram he would father a son from his own seed but did not mention the mother's name. How might the story have unfolded differently if God had said, " And Sarai will bear this son"? Since we know "his way is perfect," why do you think God withheld this vital fact? Ten years passed before Sarai took steps to secure an heir for Abram. What do you suppose finally prompted her to act?

6. When Sarai gave Hagar to her husband, how had she "opened the door to spiritual catastrophe"? In what ways did Hagar's quick conception make matters worse for Sarai? In your own life, when have you taken your future into your own impatient hands without seeking God's guidance? And what was the outcome?

The last questions gave us an insight as to how Sarai may have even thought about herself, or even carried herself in an area she would have had security, her looks. These are asking us to think about her insecurity, her barrenness.

Oh my, yaw think my answers are long now, wait til I have to answer if I've ever taken matters into my own hands....oh wow...I must say I've been blessed to grow quite a bit these last 3 or 4 years...but man, before then! ha, The question would have to be, when didn't I take matters into my own hands?

Slighty Bad Girls Chapter 1, questions 3 & 4

Great responses from the first blog ladies!

Let's continue on seeing how God used Sarai, even though we may be quick to think she was not so worthy of being used...

3. Abram and Sarai left everything - family and friends, houses and lands, and all their worldly goods that wouldn't fit on a camel - to follow God's leading. if the Lord asked you to leave everything and follow his lead, how would you respond? The Lord made several "I will" statements to Abram, promising to bless him and to make him famous. How might such promises increase your faith?

4. When you learned that Sarai was a beautiful woman, in what way did that alter your perception of her? Did you fear for her in Pharaoh's court or assume her pleasing appearance would protect her? In our culture how is beauty an advantage? A disadvantage?

3 posts from you guys, and I will do mine and move on to questions 5 & 6

Blessed by an excursion

After a friend of mine said a friend of hers had invited them to go blueberry picking yesterday afternoon, I felt the urge to invite myself, Ethan, and Emma along on the excursion.


So glad I did.


They didn't mind at all, and it gave me a chance to get some good pictures and to get Ethan outside doing something that he can do with his broken arm. Not to mention I've been eating blueberries nonstop since about 4pm yesterday.





I also had time to admire some different scenery, which I really appreciated. I've been rather overwhelmed lately with trying to keep my house up so that it can be viewed by potential buyers almost every single day. So, yesterday while someone was walking around our house and we were out in the midst of such calm beauty, I felt it was a good trade.



Emma was rather content at first picking berries, some ended up in her bucket, and some in her belly. However, it didn't take long for Princess Emma to start expressing her discontent with the heat and asking me if we could begin making our way back towards the shade.


I tried to keep encouraging her to remember the cause of the trip. To get a surplus of these delicious berries to bring home and enjoy for months to come. "You love to eat blueberries, Emma!" But she had moved past sharing the vision of blueberry bliss with her mama, and was now focused on a canopy with picnic tables that would offer her refuge from her nemesis, the sun.



Ethan has been struggling the past few weeks with obeying, and so unfortunately, I wasn't surprised with his choices to NOT quit throwing berries at his friends, to NOT stay close by where we could share his bucket, and to NOT argue or debate the instructions I was giving. I tried to keep calm as I encouraged him to appreciate the adventure and not to ruin it with bad choices.

And so we finally came to rest under that canopy with picnic tables. There we enjoyed some cold water and the children shared a soda pop. A sweet end to a not thoroughly sweet hour of blueberry picking.

Does my story sound at all familiar to you?

Through our daily walks with the Lord, we sometimes desire to experience something different. So the Lord will bless us with a little excursion that He knows will provide us with a surplus of goodies. As we start on this divine adventure, we gaze wide-eyed at all there is to enjoy! However, shortly into the journey, we are faced with the slightest feeling of discomfort, and before we know it, we're asking the Lord to go back to our comfortable little picnic tables in the shade. He tries to encourage us through our brothers and sisters in Christ or through our daily readings, but what we saw so clearly in the beginning is now overshadowed by a small cloud of inconvenience.

We struggle in listening to His instruction. We make poor choices thinking that we know our situation better than He does, and although we may glean a few treasures along the way, we miss out on joy of the experience, and also on the joy of sweet communion with Him along the way.

We come to rest in the shade with our selfish appetites satisfied, but our buckets are quite empty compared to what He had in mind when He made the plans for the adventure.

Does God have you in the midst of a full blueberry patch right now? Can you see the sweet fruit? Or, are you blinded by the sun and drained by it's warmth?

Sometimes I am convinced that I haven't even learned anything from the story of the Israelites.

What would happen if we spent more time obeying God's word, and less time coming up with our own plans? I have a feeling we may enjoy the soda pop at the end a little more if it is shared over conversation of our cheerful attitudes and obedience vs conversation of consequences for our whining and disobedience.

Been a while...words very worthy of reading

If by Amy Carmichael

If I have not compassion on my fellow servant, even as my Lord had pity on me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can easily discuss the shortcomings and the sins of any; if I can speak in a casual way even of a child's misdoings, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can write an unkind letter, speak an unkind word, think an unkind thought without grief and shame, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose affection, or lest the one concerned should say, "You do not understand," or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other's highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I myself dominate myself, if my thoughts revolve around myself, if I am so occupied with myself I rarely have "a heart at leisure from itself," then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I do not give a friend "the benefit of the doubt," but put the worst construction instead of the best on what is said or done, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I take offense easily; if I am content to continue in a cool unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love. For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.

If I say, "Yes, I forgive, but I cannot forget," as though the God, who twice a day washes all the sands on all the shores of all the world, could not wash such memories from my mind, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If souls can suffer alongside, and I hardly know it, because the spirit of discernment is not in me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the praise of man elates me and his blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself; if I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If in the fellowship of service I seek to attach a friend to myself, so that others are caused to feel unwanted; if my friendships do not draw others deeper in, but are ungenerous, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

That which I know not, teach Thou me, O Lord, my God.

Calendar anyone?

So today is the 16th, huh?

Way after I posted my last blog, while chatting with other mommies, I was informed today is the 16th.

So, for those of you who I wrongfully challenged to read Proverbs 15...go ahead...read that one and the 16th and call it a day!

Greg read to us yesterday, so when I picked up mine today and it had the marker at 15...well, I assumed it was the 15th and read and blogged as if it were indeed the 15th.

However - it is the 16th - so the children and I will be doing some more reading in just a few moments...and you guessed it...we'll be reading Proverbs 16!

Hope to be challenged, encouraged, uplifted, convicted, or all of the above...although I needed to hear Proverbs 15:1 today, so I'll not chalk that up to mishap!

I am thankful for a blessed day, and also thankful that it is almost time to call it a day!

Proverbs 15

Last year on this very day, my mother, my sister Indy, her step-daughter Kelci, her daughter Raven, her son Sawyer, my son Ethan, and my daughter Emma, and myself traveled to Lewisburg for some fun little shopping at their cute shops and a lunch at Food & Friends.

I remember this because it was April 15th, and my tax preparer is in Lewisburg. I had to go and pick up my taxes and mail them out by deadline!

Just thought I'd share that. This year I had my taxes completely ready, with the exception of things that come in the mail, by January 2nd. Praise God for his goodness in teaching me more about diligence and discipline in the past year.

So, today is the day to read Proverbs 15, if you haven't yet! READ IT! Enjoy God's words for you today & share your thoughts with the rest of us!!!

Let's just touch base on 15:1. We could spend all day, all night, and well, let's be honest....the rest of our 2009 striving to live out this verse, and none of us may find it easy to do in all circumstances.

A soft answer turneth away wrath. but grievous words stir up anger.

Do you find it easy to live this out?

When you are talking with your children, and nearly at the end of our short rope that is extended with God's grace, are you quick to speak quietly & softly?

Example: When I am trying to do a quick post, or answer email, or even pay bills on the computer, I struggle with my attention span. I can barely make it through if there is ANY noise whatsover. Because of this, I try to find time to do it when the children are upstairs, downstairs, or far away from any stairs that are close to my whereabouts. Today when I decided to jot this down quickly, Ethan decided to find a seat on the couch close by. I asked him to quiet himself in order for Mommy to concentrate about 7 times before I lost my temper and shouted at him to remove himself from my sight.

OOOOH - yeap, I did that. Now, don't go callin' CPS just yet. He will heal from Mommy's temper tantrum, however, I will now have to deal with his anger the rest of the day.

The 7 times I tried to quietly explain I needed him to be still, hadn't solved the problem. I even explained how hard it is for Mommy's brain to concentrate when it is quiet, much less when he is wrestling with the dog & squeeking the squeeky toy by my feet. But, as any 8 year old boy, sitting on the couch watching your mother ignore you to type, isn't easy to do!

I will be challenged today to speak softly.

I pray you will be, too.

Rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee - Proverbs 9

This morning as I read today's Proverbs to Ethan and Emma, this verse really stood out to me.

9:8
Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.

There have been times in my life that I have had someone inform me of something I had clearly need to be informed of, but it wasn't always easy to digest.

Some of you may know what I'm talking about. You may feel conviction over certain areas of your life, and more so when you are congregated with certain people who Christ has maybe helped conquer that struggle. What if they rebuked you for your sin? Would you be offended? Probably so, huh?

I can remember when I was single with Ethan and I was working long hours. I really wanted to have a social life, work hard, and be a good mom. But that was the order I wanted things, too. My older sister Indy was wise enough to call me on it. I can remember the conversation still to this day. I was driving home from the place I worked in Princeton, I was on the phone with her. I can remember the feeling I had in my gut hearing her describe how wrong my actions were. I was so angry. With myself. Not with her! I couldn't be angry with her! I was the one who needed to hear it.

I challenge you to be obedient to Christ in this area. Ask him to help you learn how to rebuke with grace when necessary.

I am so glad my sister said what needed to be said. I am far from wise, and believe me, there are many times I'd rather not hear hers, or any other person's take on my actions. But I pray that I will hear the Lord's voice when He needs me to return that favor.

"They made me do it." - loved this article

Last week I received the March-April magazine from No Greater Joy. I thoroughly enjoy reading their articles and getting tips on various issues as they share their wisdom. I'm not saying I back them up as I would the Gospel, but they have pointed out lots of things to me through their writings that I needed to hear.

I just wanted to post a paragraph from an article by Michael Pearl.

I found it to be so, well, just right on.

Give sinful men white robes to wear, and some will inevitably alter theirs to be more fashionable or to "stand out". Give men the law of God, and some will teach for doctrines the commandments of men. Teach men about their liberty in Christ, and some will use it to fulfill their lusts. Instruct parents to use the rod to train their children, and some will see it as an excuse to abuse their children. Tell husbands they are the head of their families, and some will feel justified in emotionally and physically abusing their wives and children.. Tell wives to submit to their husbands, and some will tolerate criminal acts against themselves and their children in hopes of being a good help meet. And, if you assure people they have eternal security in Christ, some will sin before sundown. It is the way of humankind, the lot of the fallen sons of Adam and the reason Jesus said, "the road is broad that leads to destruction" and " there will be many which go in thereat." In the day of judgment, no one will be able to point to his teachers and say, "They made me do it." Every man and woman will stand alone before God and give account of the deeds done in the body, whether they be good or bad.

I hope you find it as right on as I did.

Proverbs 6: procrastinator?

So it is becoming a funny joke about my sheet-covered TV.

But after reading today's Proverbs I felt pretty good about our anti-laziness mindset.

6:6-11(Ryrie notes) The wise teacher rebukes the slothful person, who characteristically does not begin things (6:9), does not complete things (12:27), and makes excuses for his laziness (22:13).

When I find a scripture that speaks of something the Lord hates, I'm thinking that is worthy of our attention, right?

6:16-19 NIV

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

I pray that you will find this daily Proverbs reading as insightful as I have. Ethan is reading us the story of Joseph's brothers bowing down to him now. So, this is the end of blogging for today. I am blessed.

Proverbs 5:hard questions to answer

For those unaware...

When I was 19 years old, on St. Patrick's Day of 2000, I found out that I would be bringing my firstborn into the world that year.

I was young, unstable, rebellious, selfish, corrupt, ignorant, naive, and more importantly, still "going to church". I do not brag about my past as though the Lord came down and miraculously picked me up out of this sin pit of crazy drinking and drugs and now I am as clean as the fresh snow. I have never really been ok with people thinking that only wild and crazy girls fall into this sin trap and become young, unwed mothers. I tell the story of not a lifestyle of sin, but a lifestyle of straddling the fence.

You see, although I was the negatives I first mentioned, I wasn't the latter. I wasn't living a "lifestyle" of the partying and immaturity that one would assume breeds illegitimate children. I was living at home with mom and dad, working, and although I had been guilty of the occasional partying, at this time in my life I was honestly trying to live much better. That was the problem. I was trying. Not submitting.

I spent the rest of that spring, summer, and early fall feeling the joy of carrying a miracle, and the pain and heartache of being a disappointment, and a hypocrite, to all those I faced at church every week.

Ethan was born in November of 2000, and shortly after he was born my rebellion and selfishness drove me again. I lived the first year of his life just trying to prove to people I could do it all on my own. I loved him, of course I loved him, but I wasn't being the mother he deserved. Man, that was one of the hardest things I've ever typed. Whoa, tears, lump in throat, ouch.....ok.....moving on.

Just after his first birthday, I began seeing Greg. Greg was wonderful to both myself, and to Ethan. I started feeling a security blanket of having a man to complete my dysfunctional family. We dated for a few months, and just as I let my guard down to think that the Lord had given me another chance at normalcy, Greg decided he couldn't handle becoming a father and a husband so soon. As painful as those few months without him were, it is funny to me that exactly a year from the day we split up, we had been married 6 weeks, and I was nursing our 2 week old Emma Rae.

Although we were attending church, even helping out with Bible School the summer Emma was conceived, we allowed ourselves to spend too much alone time together. That is why when people laugh at the thought of courtship, or at encouraging boys and girls to wait til they are 18 or older to date altogether, I want to scream, "Why wasn't I told that?"

Why is all of this relevant to Proverbs 5? When reading it to Ethan and Emma yesterday morning, stopping and paraphrasing for them after every few verses, he asked, "So, you are only supposed to have children with one person?"

"Yes."

"But I had Bill for a dad, before daddy, and Emma had daddy from the beginning?"

"Yes."

"Was I at your wedding?"

"Yes."

The real question my 8 yr old was probably wondering, but graceful enough to not ask, is "Well, why do you have 2 children by 2 different people if you aren't supposed to?"

My answer would be, "Because I didn't head my mother and father's instruction. I didn't hide God's word in my heart that I might not sin against Him. I read the Bible occasionally, but I didn't submit my life to Him as we are to do. And because of that, I suffered a great deal of pain from the consequences of my sin, and now you, my son, will suffer pain because of your mother's sin." No matter how great of a relationship Ethan has with Greg, and believe me, it is wonderful, Ethan will always have to deal with the fact that his biological father chose to not be a part of his life.

5:11-14 (again from Ryrie) Loose living consumes one's strength(perhaps through disease, v. 11), activates one's conscience (vv.12-13), and brings public disgrace(v.14).

Read Proverbs to your children. Pray for them. Train them. Teach them about submission to the Holy Spirit. Hold them accountable.

And if you do these things, and they are as rebellious as I was, and they end up in sin....Read Proverbs to them, pray for them, train them, and teach them about submission to the Holy Spirit. God is faithful. My sin caused problems in my family that I cannot even begin to explain, especially with my father. Not one, but two children conceived in sin, that is a lot for a Christian father to forgive. But we now all have a wonderful fellowship together, especially my husband and my father. God is faithful.

Proverbs 4 - not a self-help book

Wisdom provides us with many benefits:(this is coming straight from my Ryrie, I tried to paraphrase...but it is just isn't working) watchcare and honor (1-9) guidance in the way of righteousness (10-19) and life, health and integrity (20-27)


I once heard an example of integrity being explained as though it is a complete circle. A complete unit or entity. That means there is no room for interruption in its completeness. No room for a small break in the circle, or it is no longer whole. Just like an integer, a whole number that can only be divided by itself. So what does this whole stuff mean to me? Well, I have found that a person of integrity has to be the Real Deal...the whole package...all that and a bag of chips...how do they get that way? What keeps a person from being those things?

If there is one small thing that breaks up the circle, they are toast, huh? You know this to be true. You've been in a circle of friends where you liked someone, thought they were charming and a sincere person. Then you've seen or heard them do something that shocked you. You never viewed them in the same light. They had a crack in their circle. No longer worthy of the description, a person of integrity.

How do I believe we achieve that description? Submission.

Submission to our Sovereign God who indwells us with the Holy Spirit. Not in a way that causes us to be chaotic or to act out emotionally at every little fleshly tug in our gut, but in a stable Christ-like manner that is seen by the world as we live our faith out loud. I believe that the reason I love Proverbs so much is because it is so practical. But we mustn't allow it to be come a Self-Help Book. We must instead realize that the only way to strive for integrity is to take us out of the picture. More of Christ's attitude, more of Christ's example, more of Christ's wisdom, for this is the only way. The crack in our human circle is proof that no one human can be a person of integrity without the Holy Spirit. For I can do all things through Christ with strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Let us not do this so that we will be described as a person with integrity here on earth, but rather so that we will be able to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is our reasonable service. Romans 12:1

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. Romans 12:3

I pray we do not do good to be seen as good. I pray we do not read Proverbs to be seen as wise. I pray we read and study, so that the Holy Spirit can make us what we were designed to be, a living sacrifice. Get off your high horse if you are thinking that you are a good person for studying, or for helping someone, or for praying - none of this is you doing anything! Instead, find a joy in serving Christ by submission to God through the Holy Spirit, to God be the Glory.

Okay - so that was just the first verses of Proverbs and a variety of other stuff, but like I advised earlier, let the Lord lead your devotions, you will be blessed for it. I know I was during this short study.

Proverbs 3

My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity. 1-2

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. 7-8

Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine. 9-10

Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow" when you now have it with you. 28

The way I see it, the citizens of the United States of America are exactly where we have chosen to be. Those who have forgotten the commands and teachings of their elders are living lives shortened by stress caused by lack of prosperity.

Everyone seems to think they are extremely smart and I haven't seen much shunning of evil, more like embracing it! America is the only country where the poverty level citizens are far from showing their ribs from starvation. Not so healthy, eh?

Is God getting what is left out of our paychecks these days? Then don't be surprised when you aren't getting the raise you have been praying for.

Are you "sharing your wealth" with someone who doesn't have what you have, and is in need? As I'm typing this, my husband just went in and got his friend Cliff some of the cake I just made for him to take it home. My first "made from scratch" chocolate cake and icing was pretty tasty this evening after our cheeseburger and fried tater dinner. His friend Cliff struggles with depression and is often found stopping by our home to see what was for dinner. He lives alone and we are the closest thing the man has to a family. As they were wrapping up conversation, Greg wanted to make sure he sent him home with some of that rich chocolate we got to enjoy. My husband makes me smile when he imitates Christ in such a giving way.

I am loving this time the Lord is blessing us with as a family.

A Proverbs a day keeps the excuses away...

I read a pretty good book last week. Written by Michelle & Jim Bob Duggar, it tells their secrets of running their home in a frugal manner, and also the faith they are living out loud as a part of the Quiverfull movement. Although I cannot honestly say I have found myself to be convicted in all the same ways, I am finding lots of good tips in their book. Recipes, family chore ideas, and home school tips, just to name a few.

The one that we have applied the last 8 days, and I have grown extremely excited about, is reading a chapter from Proverbs that corresponds with the day of the month. We started last Monday with Proverbs 23 and since we only had 28 days this month, we read 29, 30, 31, and 1 last night.

I have found that Proverbs is addictive. I studied it some last fall, and honestly, I got out of my routine when I hurt my knee and hadn't got back in it!

However, the children and I read it in the morning with our breakfast. Then before bedtime, Greg reads it to us again. We pull out verses we liked, or verses we didn't understand, and then we talk about areas in our lives where we should have practiced more self-control or more wisdom.

However, the biggest thing for me is the the practical application there is in that book. It is not as easy to give into a temptation when you have this fresh scripture in your head that is saying, "If you do this - you are lazy and lacking in self-control, you are better to put a knife to your throat!!!"

I challenge you to try this. I know we all have our own devotions that we like to do. Hopefully you rely more on God to point you in the right direction as far as what scriptures you should dive into for the day instead of just The Daily Bread booklets or a devotional that someone else thinks was good for March 3rd. Or just reading 1 chapter from Proverbs because it is the same # as the day of the month, for that matter!

Now I also want to mention that I'm still really stuck on these thoughts I've had for the past year since Christy Mlekodaj (a missionary friend the Lord blessed me with) shared with me a study they were doing at church about relying more on being lead by the Spirit than trying to personally change your ways to do this or do that. The Word should be our main line of communication that the Spirit can use, it isn't like you're gonna get a neon sign saying, "Stop being lazy. Please turn TV off, computer off, and even the phone off and spend some time with me this evening."!!!

Read Proverbs 3 on March 3rd, and if you have a scripture that jumps out at you, share it with us!

Again - don't just read that and pat yourself on the back like you've just done a good deed for the day! Pray about areas where the Lord needs to strengthen your spiritual artillery, and then get to studying!

What am I studying along with Proverbs??? Submission. All the way around. Submission to Christ, submission to Greg, and even submission to authority that I have a tendency to rebel against.

Ignorance is bliss. This is kinda true, ya know it? There are some things that I may not feel as convicted about, simply because I haven't studied it as I should. But after reading something in the morning, hearing it at night, and then praying that God uses it to help me keep from conforming to the world, man, I'm tellin' ya, a Proverbs a day keeps the excuses away!!!

Educate yourself on your children's education

"What did you learn in school today?"

This is a question asked by thousands of parents around our nation around 6pm every single day.

I know when Ethan was in the public school system for 2 years, I asked him that a number of times. But I never really got an answer.

I trusted that the lovely teachers who were spending so much time with him had his best interests in mind, and that he was learning things that any 5 or 6 year old should learn.

But as Ethan was approaching the end of Kindergarten, I had to confront myself with a truth I had been struggling with. Why is someone else doing my job? God gave me and Greg Ethan and Emma as gifts. Gifts that we are to train, to educate, to disciple in such a way that God is ultimately glorified.

At 4 months, do we send our newborn away to a school to learn how to roll over?
At 8 months, do we send our baby away to a school to learn how to crawl or to walk?
At 1 years, do we send our toddler away to a school to learn how to talk?
At 2 years, do we send our little girl to a school to be taught how to go to the potty?

Then what PROGRAMS us to enroll our 4 year olds in Pre-School? By law, we don't have to enroll children into an educational program until they are 6. So why do we start them out at 4? Well everyone else is doing it????

Most people say they need the income of two parents to make ends meet, and that school helps with child care. I'd like to know then, are all these people out of work suddenly pulling their children out of school?

I'm not trying to be condescending. I know some of you reading this have children in a school system outside of your home, and I would hope you know I'm not attacking your parenting ability. I have every right to speak up on this issue, I had a very poor view of home-schooling not that long ago. I read many articles like this one I am writing, and I thought to myself, who are you to judge me? I hope that you are involved in their education outside of the school, and that you are more concerned with the condition of their heart than you are their ability to add and subtract. Just don't trust that the school system knows what is best for your child. You know what is best for them, and we need to ensure that we are just as involved in their training as their teachers are.

At 4 years old, I sent my Ethan into a school with hundreds of strangers to learn how to socialize. Right? Isn't that why we do it? That is what they say Pre-School is for. To learn how to interact with other children and to learn some basic skills in order to be able to function well in Kindergarten. Question: Why would I want hundreds of strangers to teach my son how to behave? Why didn't I just teach him how to behave? When a kid gets in trouble in his teen years, do the parents say, "I'm sorry, he has been running around with me and his dad and, well, I just don't know what has gotten into him." Or do they say, "He's a good kid, he has just gotten in with the wrong crowd."? Where did that wrong crowd come from? Yes, that is right, that crowd is the crowd you asked to teach your Johnny how to behave.

This is hard to swallow for some. Believe me, when I was facing the idea that I would give up a career I had worked so hard to build so that I could be full-time mom and full-time educator, I was confused. I was close to having my schedule opened up to mornings at the gym, lunches with friends, and afternoons of chores before an evening and night of children. Now I would go into weeks, months, years of having my children by my side. Oh my, can you picture the majority of moms at the soccer field screeching in horror as you paint the picture of being expected to tend to your children's needs all day long? I hear moms complain about summer because they will have to deal with their offspring. A snow day to some is exciting because they can sleep in and don't have to be annoyed with getting their children off to school, to others it is a nightmare because they will be the ones expected to entertain their gifts for the day.

I know this seems harsh. Maybe you will read this and become upset with me and never visit my site again. I will say I am sorry if you feel such anger because of my questions or my challenges.

But if you are set on your children receiving an education outside of their home, please, take the time to educate yourself on your child's education. Know what their science books are going to tell them about us coming to life through evolution. Know what their health books are going to tell them about reproduction. Know what their kindergarten reading books are going to teach them about same-sex marriages. Yes, you heard me right.

This will shock you, but my dear reader, anytime now - it could be your 5 year old reading about a young Prince finding himself another fine Prince to have as his husband.