The Big E

Right now, I'm comfy in my favorite spot of my two-seater chair, with just a few sips of Pepsi left in the can to my right. My dog is snuggled in by my side, and my loaner cell phone that is temporarily replacing the one that went through the laundry last night, is by my other side.

My daughter is dancing around freshly showered in fresh pjs with a freshly pulled tooth in a Ziploc baggy.


My son, who is almost at his daddy's shoulder, is standing shirtless beside his daddy, who is just back from having to make an evening trip out for work in Mullens, as the two of them make the most of borrowed Wii time.


Ah...the goings on of a Saturday evening.



Hard to believe the view from this same comfy spot last night looked like this...





Ethan turned 10 on November 3rd. Can I just say that it is strange when your baby boy hits double digits? Being Ethan's mom is an absolutely joyful, and amazingly rewarding experience. Ten years ago, I was at a very difference place in life. You can kinda get the picture by reading about his beginnings here.


Even after writing that post a year and a half ago, things have changed. I have changed. I am sitting under teachings of grace that He has used to open me up and show me grace in an entirely new light.


What does this have to do with Ethan's birthday? A lot.


He is using grace to teach me so much about parenting, and discipling, my young man.

And I must just say, I love who He is forming Ethan to be. And I thank God that out of my rebellion, He could build us into the family we are today. Praise be to my God.


Okay, with all that being said, last night we had 8 of Ethan's bestest buddies over for a sleepover. We don't buy Ethan or Emma birthday gifts from us, don't worry, they don't go without! The grandparents did a fantastic job, and supplied him with a new DSI and a MP3 player this year!

So anyway, because we don't do gifts, we do provide the actual party. We live on a single income, so it requires me to be a tad more creative than buying the most popular party favors, ordering a cake, and inviting everyone and their mama for a "different" kind of "wow" birthday party.

Well, let me just say, I guarantee my boy didn't feel this was a sacrifice AT ALL!




I looked at lots of different ideas for party favors. Something the boys could play with here, and then take home. Last year, we did small Lego toys. They were about $5 a piece. Well, I just couldn't afford that this year. So, we went with insulation foam lightsabers covered in duct tape. Each lightsaber was about $1.89 a piece. Not too shabby. The boys got creative, and had double sabers before you knew it...I was impressed.


Between borrowing the Wii from my sister, and having a friend bring their controllers, too, we were able to supply sufficient entertainment for our 9 fun-seeking guys.

So, what's the other big cost to throwing your kid a party? Food.

Well, with a little effort, and some extra dish washing, you can cut cost there, too.

I made 3 pizzas from scratch. I'd say each pizza probably cost me about $2.50. I only bought 3 2 liters of pop, each were $0.79. Once they were gone, we just did water. For dessert, Ethan asked for hot fudge brownies. So, from my mawmaw's Betty Crocker cookbook, I whipped up a 9X13 pan of some unbelievably scrumptious brownies. Then drizzled a bottle of microwavable glaze I picked up at Wal-Mart atop, since I couldn't find an ingredient to make the icing I wanted to on my own...at first I was bummed, but then I realized the bottle of glaze for a few bucks wasn't so bad after all!

One gallon of vanilla ice cream was about $3, the brownies and icing would probably be just under $6, and then poor guy had to settle for just 3 candles since that was all we had in the cabinet!

This morning, we had cinnamon rolls from scratch, couldn't have had more than about $3 in all 24 rolls.

So, if my calculations are correct...

Party favors for 9 boys = $17.01

Food to feed 9 boys = $19.50

Entertainment for 9 boys = free

Watching 9 boys fight to near death with foam, wrestle fairly to the 3 count out, and giggle uncontrollably over each other's antics...

yeah, you know it...priceless!

What good are quotes if you can't relate to 'em?

First of all, thanks gina for the potting soil, seeds, and pot!



The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet. Lord Chesterfield


If you study to remember, you will forget, but, if you study to understand, you will remember. Unknown

The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience. Unknown

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. W.B. Yeats

More is caught than taught. Unknown

Choosing to keep our children home with us is one of the greatest decisions my husband ever made. Although challenging, I'm rewarded daily with getting to teach them much more than academics. May God bless our efforts as we seek His will in training up our children.

You're never the quarterback with me looking for the sack...

We talk football a lot in our house. I admit that after Ethan played his first season of tackle football this fall, I became a completely addicted football mom. Because of this, I can relate a lot of things to Ethan by using the sport we both grew to love.



He turned 9 at the beginning of November. He is a wonderful boy who can be caught smiling with joy on a regular basis.

However, he can also be caught arguing, whining, or questioning my authority on a regular basis. The other day, as I was correcting him for questioning me, I had to really break it down for him.

"We are on the same team here. Always. It's like in football, Ethan. If you were the quarterback, and I was the receiver, we both have a common goal. Get the ball to the end zone and score a touchdown. You're never the quarterback with me looking for the tackle. I'm either blocking for you or waiting to receive your pass, I'm never in your way on purpose. Our goal is to raise you up to be a godly man, right?" "I guess..." "Yes, ma'am. Not I guess." "Yes ma'am."
"How can you be that man if we don't work together?" "I can't." "That's right. God asks me to train you up the way He has directed, and He asks you to honor me. If we do that, together as a team, the promise is a touchdown that is worth way more than 6 points. If we are constantly butting heads something is wrong. Our game plan isn't working, and we can't make any substitutions. I love you, and I need you on MY team, not against me."

This pep talk is pretty accurate to the one that really took place. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and hugged me. I held onto my little man thinking about what a great captain of some one's football team he is going to make some day.

Counting down...but may keep it around...

Okay, by now you should all have realized I'm terrible at being a consistent blogger. I think my last post was back in June after I felt so good about my family enjoying our day at Pipestem.

This morning as I wait for Emma to come back home for an all-nighter at Aunt Indy's, and as Ethan is off doing some chores prior to getting back to school, I thought I'd give myself a few minutes to see what I could spit out.

I found this craft idea here and immediately thought it was a great idea to use for a craft on December 1st. My sister, Indy, and myself decided to get together once a week from now til Christmas to do an Advent craft. We both homeschool and knew it would help to have that accountability to make sure these neat ideas turned into neat crafts done on a neat day. So, on December 1st, our Advent Jar starting to come to be.

Even Sawyer enjoyed painting his jar! So, what is the purpose of an Advent jar? Starting on December 1st, each day they will pull out a good deed from their jar. Examples of what we placed in ours are : Call Aunt Jamie just to say I love you, make a card for someone not feeling well, pray for a family in our church, ask Daddy what he needs you to do today to help him out, pray for those who do not know Jesus as their personal Savior, pray the Lord will help to keep your heart thankful as you receive gifts from others this Christmas. Granted, I do realize that praying isn't necessarily a good deed, but teaching them to think and pray for others is a great way to get them to start thinking about others. You get the idea. Each day, they pull out a good deed, and that is our countdown to Christmas. So far, I have received a call from Raven telling me she loved me, Ethan has said numerous prayers, he and Emma have both made several phone calls to mawmaws and pawpaws saying I love you, Emma has said some prayers, Emma made a lady from our church a get well card and received a "thank you" home made bracelet in return! We are considering switching up the good deeds inside and keeping this around to be a daily thing all year long!

Some children have tender hearts. Some children do not have tender hearts. As Indy and I discussed this yesterday at her home, I was reminded of something she said a while back. We can try hard to be good parents, and we can do all the things we think will help our children become good, godly men and women. But the truth is, if they turn out halfway decent, it is just God's grace! Praying for our children, and praying the Lord blesses our efforts, are two ingredients that may get skipped out as we just try to be more disciplined parents that do neat little crafts to teach hearts to be tender.

But for the grace of God...

I know we probably have all heard that. But it is so true!

I am a blessed woman. I love staying at home and being Greg's personal chef/wife, Ethan's basketball opponent/mom, Emma's personal stylist/mom, and I love to serve my family as I feel God intended me to serve them. But I'm not good at these things because I'm a good woman. It is God's grace that has stilled my heart and reminds me I am truly serving Him when I do these things even when Greg has hurt my feelings, or Ethan is being obnoxious on the court, or Emma is acting a little too prissy when picking out clothes.

I did not have a tender heart growing up. But God is changing me more and more to realize what it is to be a real servant.

I pray that as I teach Ethan & Emma the reasons Christ came to this earth, and the reasons we anticipate His return, I will be able to see God's grace at work on their hearts as they learn to be imitators of Christ.

After all, if I had been Jesus' aunt over 2000

years ago, it would have made me smile to get a phone call from Him telling me He loved me...

Proverbs 5:hard questions to answer

For those unaware...

When I was 19 years old, on St. Patrick's Day of 2000, I found out that I would be bringing my firstborn into the world that year.

I was young, unstable, rebellious, selfish, corrupt, ignorant, naive, and more importantly, still "going to church". I do not brag about my past as though the Lord came down and miraculously picked me up out of this sin pit of crazy drinking and drugs and now I am as clean as the fresh snow. I have never really been ok with people thinking that only wild and crazy girls fall into this sin trap and become young, unwed mothers. I tell the story of not a lifestyle of sin, but a lifestyle of straddling the fence.

You see, although I was the negatives I first mentioned, I wasn't the latter. I wasn't living a "lifestyle" of the partying and immaturity that one would assume breeds illegitimate children. I was living at home with mom and dad, working, and although I had been guilty of the occasional partying, at this time in my life I was honestly trying to live much better. That was the problem. I was trying. Not submitting.

I spent the rest of that spring, summer, and early fall feeling the joy of carrying a miracle, and the pain and heartache of being a disappointment, and a hypocrite, to all those I faced at church every week.

Ethan was born in November of 2000, and shortly after he was born my rebellion and selfishness drove me again. I lived the first year of his life just trying to prove to people I could do it all on my own. I loved him, of course I loved him, but I wasn't being the mother he deserved. Man, that was one of the hardest things I've ever typed. Whoa, tears, lump in throat, ouch.....ok.....moving on.

Just after his first birthday, I began seeing Greg. Greg was wonderful to both myself, and to Ethan. I started feeling a security blanket of having a man to complete my dysfunctional family. We dated for a few months, and just as I let my guard down to think that the Lord had given me another chance at normalcy, Greg decided he couldn't handle becoming a father and a husband so soon. As painful as those few months without him were, it is funny to me that exactly a year from the day we split up, we had been married 6 weeks, and I was nursing our 2 week old Emma Rae.

Although we were attending church, even helping out with Bible School the summer Emma was conceived, we allowed ourselves to spend too much alone time together. That is why when people laugh at the thought of courtship, or at encouraging boys and girls to wait til they are 18 or older to date altogether, I want to scream, "Why wasn't I told that?"

Why is all of this relevant to Proverbs 5? When reading it to Ethan and Emma yesterday morning, stopping and paraphrasing for them after every few verses, he asked, "So, you are only supposed to have children with one person?"

"Yes."

"But I had Bill for a dad, before daddy, and Emma had daddy from the beginning?"

"Yes."

"Was I at your wedding?"

"Yes."

The real question my 8 yr old was probably wondering, but graceful enough to not ask, is "Well, why do you have 2 children by 2 different people if you aren't supposed to?"

My answer would be, "Because I didn't head my mother and father's instruction. I didn't hide God's word in my heart that I might not sin against Him. I read the Bible occasionally, but I didn't submit my life to Him as we are to do. And because of that, I suffered a great deal of pain from the consequences of my sin, and now you, my son, will suffer pain because of your mother's sin." No matter how great of a relationship Ethan has with Greg, and believe me, it is wonderful, Ethan will always have to deal with the fact that his biological father chose to not be a part of his life.

5:11-14 (again from Ryrie) Loose living consumes one's strength(perhaps through disease, v. 11), activates one's conscience (vv.12-13), and brings public disgrace(v.14).

Read Proverbs to your children. Pray for them. Train them. Teach them about submission to the Holy Spirit. Hold them accountable.

And if you do these things, and they are as rebellious as I was, and they end up in sin....Read Proverbs to them, pray for them, train them, and teach them about submission to the Holy Spirit. God is faithful. My sin caused problems in my family that I cannot even begin to explain, especially with my father. Not one, but two children conceived in sin, that is a lot for a Christian father to forgive. But we now all have a wonderful fellowship together, especially my husband and my father. God is faithful.

Educate yourself on your children's education

"What did you learn in school today?"

This is a question asked by thousands of parents around our nation around 6pm every single day.

I know when Ethan was in the public school system for 2 years, I asked him that a number of times. But I never really got an answer.

I trusted that the lovely teachers who were spending so much time with him had his best interests in mind, and that he was learning things that any 5 or 6 year old should learn.

But as Ethan was approaching the end of Kindergarten, I had to confront myself with a truth I had been struggling with. Why is someone else doing my job? God gave me and Greg Ethan and Emma as gifts. Gifts that we are to train, to educate, to disciple in such a way that God is ultimately glorified.

At 4 months, do we send our newborn away to a school to learn how to roll over?
At 8 months, do we send our baby away to a school to learn how to crawl or to walk?
At 1 years, do we send our toddler away to a school to learn how to talk?
At 2 years, do we send our little girl to a school to be taught how to go to the potty?

Then what PROGRAMS us to enroll our 4 year olds in Pre-School? By law, we don't have to enroll children into an educational program until they are 6. So why do we start them out at 4? Well everyone else is doing it????

Most people say they need the income of two parents to make ends meet, and that school helps with child care. I'd like to know then, are all these people out of work suddenly pulling their children out of school?

I'm not trying to be condescending. I know some of you reading this have children in a school system outside of your home, and I would hope you know I'm not attacking your parenting ability. I have every right to speak up on this issue, I had a very poor view of home-schooling not that long ago. I read many articles like this one I am writing, and I thought to myself, who are you to judge me? I hope that you are involved in their education outside of the school, and that you are more concerned with the condition of their heart than you are their ability to add and subtract. Just don't trust that the school system knows what is best for your child. You know what is best for them, and we need to ensure that we are just as involved in their training as their teachers are.

At 4 years old, I sent my Ethan into a school with hundreds of strangers to learn how to socialize. Right? Isn't that why we do it? That is what they say Pre-School is for. To learn how to interact with other children and to learn some basic skills in order to be able to function well in Kindergarten. Question: Why would I want hundreds of strangers to teach my son how to behave? Why didn't I just teach him how to behave? When a kid gets in trouble in his teen years, do the parents say, "I'm sorry, he has been running around with me and his dad and, well, I just don't know what has gotten into him." Or do they say, "He's a good kid, he has just gotten in with the wrong crowd."? Where did that wrong crowd come from? Yes, that is right, that crowd is the crowd you asked to teach your Johnny how to behave.

This is hard to swallow for some. Believe me, when I was facing the idea that I would give up a career I had worked so hard to build so that I could be full-time mom and full-time educator, I was confused. I was close to having my schedule opened up to mornings at the gym, lunches with friends, and afternoons of chores before an evening and night of children. Now I would go into weeks, months, years of having my children by my side. Oh my, can you picture the majority of moms at the soccer field screeching in horror as you paint the picture of being expected to tend to your children's needs all day long? I hear moms complain about summer because they will have to deal with their offspring. A snow day to some is exciting because they can sleep in and don't have to be annoyed with getting their children off to school, to others it is a nightmare because they will be the ones expected to entertain their gifts for the day.

I know this seems harsh. Maybe you will read this and become upset with me and never visit my site again. I will say I am sorry if you feel such anger because of my questions or my challenges.

But if you are set on your children receiving an education outside of their home, please, take the time to educate yourself on your child's education. Know what their science books are going to tell them about us coming to life through evolution. Know what their health books are going to tell them about reproduction. Know what their kindergarten reading books are going to teach them about same-sex marriages. Yes, you heard me right.

This will shock you, but my dear reader, anytime now - it could be your 5 year old reading about a young Prince finding himself another fine Prince to have as his husband.

growing

This just happened about 10 minutes ago.

Ethan was sent into the kitchen to get me a bowl for me to use to brush my teeth here on the couch after dinner.

He couldn't reach, and asked his dad to help him.

His dad jokingly demanded, "Boy, you best hurry up and grow if you're gonna help out with your mom."

Ethan responded, "Geez...I only have 2 million ovaries!"

You see, we bought a book at Sams last week that has pictures and detailed descriptions of the body, complete with the purpose of all of our organs.

We saw a TV show that had a boy who was a dwarf on it and Ethan said," I know why he is a dwarf, his ovaries aren't working."

On the part where it explains the way we grow, it shows a picture of ovaries and explains that they release hormones that make girls grow. Ethan had skipped the whole girl part and didn't keep reading where it explained that boys have testes.

I thought this was worth writing about.

4 green walls called a school room

Ethan is eight years old.

The child started reading right around the time he turned 6 years old. His wonderful Kindergarten teacher taught him to read. It is a good thing I wasn't a homeschooling weirdo at that time. The boy may still not be reading.

He is reading, however, and he is an awesome reader!!! I didn't quite realize his talent until around the end of Kindergarten. We were turning books in at his school and the other children were turning in books that Ethan had read and turned in months prior. His teacher explained that Ethan was one of the best readers she had ever taught! He caught on easily and excelled effortlessly.

He walked into his doctor's office and shocked the nurse as he read "antibiotics" as if it were "ant". He shocked me as he read "cardiovascular and digestion" in my doctor's office. He obviously didn't have to put much effort into excelling at his reading skills. I don't know if you noticed, but the English language doesn't always phonetically make sense! However, Ethan could take a couple tries and figure it out. His spelling is the same way. He remembers rules and could easily spell most words we would verbally throw at him for our at-home spelling bees.

Am I bragging about my genious child?

Nope...I'm questioning his laziness enduced by his ability.

Although he has this ability, he chooses to not exercise it. You would think that homeschooling would be easy if your child is only 8 and can read as well as you can!!

Thus the reason I love homeschooling!!!

Is it important that Ethan can read? yes

But to us Bucklands, it is more important that he realizes education is a gift that shouldn't be taken for granted.

I love homeschooling, even when he is testing me with silliness, because I get to remind him that God expects his best.

I don't want Ethan to go through his education thinking that he is learning to do math or to do grammar because education will get him where he wants to go. I want Ethan to learn that faith in the Lord will get him where he needs to go. Education is a blessing and a tool that God is giving him to help him carry out God's plan in his life.

I enjoy Ethan. I am learning as he learns. I am learning that on the days we sit in this school room(made up of 4 green walls), as we are now, and we spend sometimes an entire hour on a worksheet that should take 15 minutes, his character is being exercised along with his phonics skills.

And in the end, my patience is being exercised as well!